Die Affenschlacht

Wenn ich nur einen Affen hätte. Wenn ich nur einen Affen finden könnte, mit dem ich täglich kämpfen könnte. Das wär' es.

Egal. To my friends: my prayers are with the IDF. May they be wise, prudent, just, merciful, and wipe hezbollah of the face of this green fuckin' earth.

There is only one cure for a tumor....permanent removal.

F@#$ing Awesome.

Stole this from Mongofünf's (entertaining german band, but ultimately too modern rock) myspace page. Great fucking idea. Too bad I missed this meeting. I just wish I had known, I would have made my own contribution.

True Heroes.

Whenever terrorist assholes get all riled up, You can always count on Darla and Christian to take 'em down.

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!

Christian thinks that Brussels is in Germany!!!!!! Check it!! The Thurs, July 20th Post.

Ouwiiie?

I have coated the inside of my soul with with a generous helping of 'fuck off.' Oh yeah, Christian ist ein taubenmasturbierendes, ziegenfickendes, rattensaugendes Arschloch. Oops. Kostenlose Übersetzung? Bitte, leck mich an die Eier. Ach, du scheiβe, habe ich die Übersetzungsmöglichkeiten verwenigerten? Oh, tut mir so wirklich Leid. Leck mich am rosenroten Arsch!

Schon Besoffen.

Wie koennte man denn besser einen Sonntag feiern? Scheissdosenbier und Zigaretten, gute Musik, die Kaetzle und Pistachios. Gelangweilt, besoffen, und einsam. Heute Abend werde ich bestimmt ziehmlich frueh einschlafen. Das waere besser als mich die ganze Nacht allein im Bett bewundern, ob ich irgendwie, irgendwann Schlaf finden werde. Tut mir Leid wenn ich Fehler mache, ich bin "Drunnk in the daaytime, drunk in the daaytime!"

My Roommate Is a Total Jackass

This is an old phone message that Paul left on my machine when I basically didn't leave my apartment for a week because I was so fucking depressed. I saved it, because it's pretty funny. They make fun of me because I'm old. It's pretty funny. Whenever I say "what?" the response I often get is "dude, turn up your Beltone!" Enjoy:

Another Happening Night In Rolla

I just caught myself browsing my 1400 page calculus book that I used the other night for reference. I was looking through it, remembering how great the days of Calc III were. Somebody shoot me.

At least I'm not sitting at KUMR.

Just Another Day at 1505 Ross

This is one of the worst photoshops I've ever done, but I have to go to class so I've excused myself from any responsibility. I miss these peeps big time.

Bloggaluffaguss.

Blogging away, and came across this picture of my great-grandad's cousin or brother?(great-great uncle, grr-gruncle?) Walter Adams hanging out in LA at the Mount Wilson Observatory with Einstein and Hubble. Does the brow on that fucker in the background look familiar to anyone? I can see some similarity, but where did this guy get the motivation? Maybe if I went out there to Mount Wilson and showed them a family tree, they'd let me sweep the floors. I'm a moron.

Take Me Back to.....

Switz-er-land. Lookin' through old pics again and found this one from atop the "Crow Hill," after which I am named. Fucking gorgeous. If only they weren't being burned at the stake there for what they believed .......

The Creepometer is Being Heavily Taxed.

Recently, my roomate Paul (a.k.a. the Jesus) and I installed a pull-up bar in our stairwell. This is a good thing. Right now, every time I go down the stairs, and my hands are free, I do 5 pull-ups. Hopefully, I will keep this up. Anyways, as I have a thing for monkeys, and liken myself to one, I figured I would get a picture of myself swinging from the bar as a testament to my appreciation of my forefathers and their struggles as they left the trees of Africa and dragged their knuckles on the ground all the way north to Europe. However, what was initially supposed to be a funny picture of my ape-like self, actually turned out to be proof that I am going straight to hell, as I am apparently fully posessed by a demon. The look on my face in this picture is literally so fucking creepy, I had to tone it down with some medieval german architectural anti-demon-decoration.

yeah.

Toe-Knee, 1-10? You are the official creepometer official.

2 Blocks Is a Long Way In Rolla.

I was just sitting here, as I do so often when I decide to spend the weekend here instead of my hometown, the STL. I thought to myself; hey, its 12:45, I think I wanna beer. So, I walked up to the 66 up the street and bought myself a two-by-four. That's Rolla/(whatever else) for a 24 oz. can of beer. The funny/creepy thing is that I actually called it a 2X4 in my head. The beer itself is somewhat enjoyable, but what tickles my ass so much more is the fact that I am so 'Rollafied' (credit to Paul Monroe, the Roomie for that term). I was literally laughing the whole way home about my 2X4, and the exchange of "y'all's," etc. at the 66. I could imagine, that for the 3 people that actually read this shit, this is a boring post..... Well, Jack, Claire and Josh....... Howdy and yeeeeehaw!

This is my bloggy, and I'll.....uhhh......be trailer trash if I want to.

Oh yeah,

Paul, I know you read this shit at the station. I'm gonna go get the wookie all riled up and lock him in your room. Don't fucking wake me up when he attacks you at 6 am.

the wookie rules this, and three other universes. Ask him about it, I dare you.

Metal Is Still Cooler Than Wood.

Today, my class got cancelled, so I spent the whole day in the shop. They started me off milling a 1" thick plate os steel to approximate square, then put me on the surface grinder. I have never worked a surface grinder before. This tool fucking rocks, and it's potentially disastrous if not used correctly, which makes it even more exciting. With this tool, one can grind a surface down up to .002" (about half the thickness of a sheet of paper) at a time with an accuracy of up to .0002" They also showed me how to get a piece of metal PERFECTLY square, and make it look like a fucking mirror. I feel like I'm learning more in the shop than in my classes. I love this shit. It's like disney world every day.

The first half of the video is the milling machine, the second is the grinder. The grinding vid is much slower than usual, as I was using one hand. ;)

OMFG.

My friend Stephanie shared this one with me. I am again speechless. If I had been the same dude in the seventies, which dude would I have been in this band? This is not a test. This is not a joke. The moustaches are real. This scares and tickles me.

for some reason, I can't embed this video, so here's the link. It's a big file, but OMFG it's worth it!!! (safe for work, although women in bikinis are on the vid)

http://he.fi/video/apache.mpg

This Is Just a Good Picture.

Mid-Überclown. Warm, morning-beer, good company, endless supply of things to make fun of.... Wipe the tears from your eye T, there is more stupidity OTW. Doesn't get much better. Except Christmas.

Can't Sleep Again, Need More Heine.

Once again, I can't sleep. Stuck with my own thoughts and irrational, incoherent ramblings of my restless mind, what could be better than the tragedy of a Heine poem to calm my senses and make me realize that any perceived, yet truly non-existent tragedy of mine pales in comparison to the plight of any fellow so unfortunate to be the focus of any piece of German literature.

Der wunde Ritter

Ich weiß eine alte Kunde,
Die hallet dumpf und trüb:
Ein Ritter liegt liebeswunde,
Doch treulos ist sein Lieb.

Als treulos muß er verachten
Die eigne Herzliebste sein,
Als schimpflich muß er betrachten
Die eigne Liebespein.

Er möcht in die Schranken reiten
Und rufen die Ritter zum Streit:
»Der mag sich zum Kampfe bereiten,
Wer mein Lieb eines Makels zeiht!«

Da würden wohl alle schweigen,
Nur nicht sein eigener Schmerz;
Da müßt er die Lanze neigen
Wider 's eigne klagende Herz.

Boo-Hoo, now shoot me. I guess I could always feed Paul to the Wookie. That would be moderately interesting.

Darla Scares Me.

As mentioned in my previous post, I just saw "Shaun of the Dead." It really made me think about this picture of the Darla. She should have been in the movie (as a zombie, of course). Don't feed her after midnight. Lock your doors, too.

Omfg.

I have been putting this rental off for...? I rented the dumbest fucking movie tonight. In case you just passed this one over (or, are not retarded (guilty)), don't ever rent "Firewall." It amazes me that everyone involved with this piece of shit probably made 10-15X (to even fuck-it #'s) more last year than your average family man. What a piece of shit.

Instead, rent "Shaun of the Dead!!!" I know this is an 'old' movie, but WTF!? I can't believe I still haven't seen this. This is like the 'Friday' for whitty middle-class, white-folk. Why did none of my friends (jack), not punch me in the balls for not seeing this? Retarded, funny, and blood-ridden. Weeeeeeeeee!

god hates me.

Poof.